Dear Comrade
by 42.Is.the.Answer
Summary: Rose and Dimitri were childhood friends. They were the best friends anyone could be, and they stuck together, despite the seven year age gap between them. Years later, Dimitri marries Natasha Ozera, another of their friends. A few weeks after the wedding, Dimitri receives a package. It's from Rose. And it contains all the things that she couldn't say to his face. AH/AU. Drabble-ish
1. Introduction

**_A/N: Hey, so this is sort of a random fic that popped up in my head. I guess you could say it's sort of similar to _****Thirteen Reasons Why****_ by Jay Asher. Err, in the first few chapters, there will be a lot of spelling mistakes and stuff like that. Most of them will be on purpose._**

**_By the way, I will only do a disclaimer for the first chapter._**

**_If you feel like this should be categorized under a different genre(s), please tell me in a review or PM me._**

**_~42_**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, its plotline, its characters, or its setting. I'm only trying to express my love and dedication to an awesome series.**

**Introduction**

_Ding ding ding dong ding._

I heard the doorbell ring and I set my western down.

"Honey, can you get the door?" Tasha called. She was taking a shower.

"I'm on it," I replied.

I got up from my armchair and I opened the front door. There was no one there. I furrowed my brow and looked around. Must've been a ding-dong ditch.

I was about to close the door when I saw a small cardboard box lying on the doorstep with the words, "To Dimitri Belikov" written on the top in sharpie. I frowned and hesitated. It could be a bomb or something. But then I recognized the handwriting. Roza.

I picked the box up and brought it into the house I shared with Tasha. We got married a few weeks ago and bought the house a few months before the wedding. I set it down on the coffee table and opened it.

"Dimka, who was that?" I heard Tasha call.

"Just a package from Rose," I replied.

"Oh, okay," she said. "As long as we didn't have any unexpected guests."

At the very top of the box was a large envelope. I picked it up and saw one of those hollow-book box things. There was a sharp intake of breath- mine- when I recognized it. I gave that box to Roza when I was fifteen and she was eight.

I opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper inside.

_Dear Comrade,_

_I have something to confess. Starting when I first met you, I began writing these letters to you, and then later, I began recording them on CDs instead. Something about having a saved audio file made me feel better. At first I planned to send them to you, but I soon realized that in these letters were all of the things I was afraid to tell you in person. Now that you're with Tasha, I think that I can rest in peace and give them to you. _

_The letters and CDs are numbered in chronological order. Please read/listen to them in order. There are a few without numbers. They're not as important. You can read those after._

_It's okay if you throw these all out without looking at them. I just wanted you to have them._

_ Love,_

_ Rose_

I stared, wide-eyed, at the note and I tucked it back into the envelope and I opened the small box. A bunch of numbered envelopes and CDs in cases were inside, as Rose wrote. As she had also said, the majority were unnumbered.

I was about to open the first envelope, addressed to Dimitri Belikov in messy handwriting, when I realized that these are somewhat personal, and I should open them in private. I put the stuff back into the cardboard and brought them upstairs to my study.

I closed the door, locking it, and set the box on my desk. I sat down and took out the first letter.


	2. November 12, 1996: Age 5

_Dere Komraid,_

_I think dat I will call you Komraid from now on. Mommy sed dat komraid meens frend, and I want you to be my frend. Your a big kid, like Tasha. Tasha's Cristien's older sistr. Shes a bigger kid then you! Shes 14, and Mommy sed day your 12. I'm only 5, so you mite not play with me, but Tasha does so you shud to. Your voys sounds funy. Mommy sed dat its coz your Rushen and you dont speke English very wel. I dont rite English very wel. My teachr sed day I ned to werk on my speling. My frend Lissa is very gud at speling._

_ Your frend,_

_ Rose_

_P.S. Mommy sed dat I shud put the dat on my leters. So its November 21 1996._


	3. September 2, 1997: Age 6

_September 2, 1997_

_Dear Komrade,_

_I met your sistr in scool a few days ago. Shes a year yunger then me. my spelling got bettr. Viktoria is really like me, only I think shes niser and uses bettr langwage then me. She didn't call her teacher a facist basterd for making her spell Viktoria Belikova, which is also reely hard to spell! Your reely big now. Mommy says that your reely tall for your age- your like six foot two or sumthing. I'm stil reely short. Tasha's tall to. She's nice to me just like you. To bad I won't ever be in the same scool as you. It wud be fun to sit with you at lunch. I usully sit with Christian, Lissa, Andre, and 2 boys I met. Mason Ashferd and Eddie Casteel. I like them. There funny. But I like playing with you more. Sometimes they are meen to me, but your always very nise._

_ Your friend,_

_ Rose_


	4. January 2, 1999: Age 7

_January 2, 1999_

_Dear Comrade,_

_I haven't "written" to you in a while. I don't even know why I write these letters to you. I mean, I see you every day, right?_

_We learned about paragraphs, so now I will break up my letters and organize them better. I think._

_Second grade is fun. You went to second grade in Rushia, right? Mommy says that schools in Rushia are very strict compard to schools here._

_Remember the New Year's party at my house last night? Well, actually it was like a sleepover- you guys came over on New Year's Eve and slept over with Christian and Tasha and Lissa and Andre and their families. The Mason Ashford and Eddie Castile and the Zekloses came over yesterday for New Year's. But I'm confused. Yesterday when we played Truth or Dare, you got dared to hug me and kiss my cheek by Mason, but you didn't want to and said, "Ew, gross!" Why? Do you not like me? I promise I don't have cooties!_

_I guess that I'm just sad that you think hugging me is gross. I took a shower and I thought you didn't believe in cooties. Please tell me why you don't like me any more._

_ Your friend (I hope!),_

_ Rose_


	5. April 3, 1999: Age 8

_April 3, 1999_

_Dear Comrade,_

_I turned 8 a week ago. Thanks for coming to my birthday party! I love the special fake-book box that you got me. even though it has a rose on it. I usually hate rose stuff but it was really cool. I'm gonna keep it forever and ever and ever!_

_Viktoria told me that you kissed a girl and that you went on a date with someone. Didn't you know that Tasha told me that she likes you? You should be __her __boyfriend, not some other girl's. Then you could get married and have babies and live happily ever after, like a fairytale prince and princess!_

_Jesse Zeklos was mean to me at school today. He said that I was stupid and that my mommy doesn't like me, and that my daddy left because he didn't love me and he thought I was an ugly baby. I punched him in the face and then got sent to Mrs. Kirova's office, even though Jesse was the meanie, not me! And he didn't even get a bloody nose! It's not fair! Why is Jesse so mean but Ivan so nice?_

_ Your friend,_

_ Rose_


	6. July 5, 2000: Age 9

_July 5, 2000_

_Dear Comrade,_

_The fireworks last night were awesome! Too bad you weren't there. I hope you're having fun in Russia. Lissa and Christian and Andre and Tasha and Ivan and Jesse (sadly) and Dane came over and watched them in our backyard._

_I can't believe that I'm going to be in fourth grade next year, and that Andre's going to the middle school campus! And you're going to be in eleventh grade! And Tasha's going to college! My mom says that you're going to have to take a lot of tests to get into college. I think that you'll do well. You're so very smart! I still get gold stars on almost all my tests, but you get A+s and stuff. That's good!_

_I can't wait until you come back from Russia. Ivan and Tasha miss you. So do Liss and Christian and Andre and Mason and Eddie, but not as much. I heard that your girlfriend emailed you and broke up with you. Whatever. She's stupid. Her loss, right? Don't be sad. You're awesome. :)_

_ I miss you. Can't wait until you come back!_

_ Rose_


	7. December 27, 2001: Age 10

_December 27, 2001_

_Dear Comrade,_

_Congratulations! Mom told me that you got accepted into Harvard University on early admission, which apparently is really awesome! Yay!_

_Why didn't you tell me at the Christmas party? It's awesome that you're going to Harvard, and yet I had to find out from my mom._

_Seriously, Comrade. Tasha really likes you. She's in college now, but she told me at the Christmas party. Why don't you go out with her?_

_I'm really sad that you're leaving in August for Massachusetts. I wish that you didn't have to go all the way across the country. But you'll be close to Tasha. Isn't she going to college at Brandeis University? That's like in the same state as Harvard! Then you two could be boyfriend and girlfriend!_

_Anyways, congratulations!_

_ Love,_

_ Rose_

_P.S. Is it weird that I said "Love" instead of "Your friend"?_


	8. November 1, 2002: Age 11

_November 1, 2002_

_Dear Comrade,_

_Halloween wasn't the same without you. I tried to go to the haunted house by myself, but it wasn't as fun. Remember how we used to go together, me, you, and some of your high school friends? And whenever I got scared, you'd pull me into your arms and hug me and then tell me that it's all fake, that I'm safe? And then your friends would call me a baby and then we'd abandon them and go eat popcorn balls? The haunted house wasn't as scary this year and it was boring without you. I miss you trying to protect me from everything._

_There's a new girl at school, Mia Rinaldi. She literally looks like a porcelain doll, and not in a good way. She has these baby blue eyes and blonde ringlets, and she looks really fragile. She's also a bitch. She's really mean to me and Lissa. Remember how you used to defend me whenever someone tried to bully me? I wish that you could still do that. Mia's almost meaner than Jesse and his cronies._

_ Love,_

_ Rose_


	9. Switch to Audio

**_A/N: I forgot to mention this earlier, but Dimitri is seven years older than Rose (like in the books), and Tasha is two years older than Dimitri (so nine years older than Rose), and Andre is two years older than Lissa (and Rose). _**

I looked for the next envelope numbered with a "8", but I couldn't find it. The rest of the envelopes were all blank. I thought about opening those, but I remembered Roza's instructions.

_There are a few without numbers. They're not as important. You can read those after._

I set the letter I'd already read aside and looked through the CDs. I found one with a big, loopy eight marked in sharpie and I took it out of its case. I opened my laptop and turned it on and quickly logged on, typing in my password.

I should really change my password soon.

I popped the CD tray open and I put in the CD. Windows Media Player started up and I suddenly realized that I should use headphones.

I dug out my headphones- Bose QuietComfort 15- and plugged them in. Tasha's been pressuring me to get Beats, but personally, I preferred the QC15s.

I put my headphones on and the audio file began playing.


	10. April 21, 2003: Age 12

_Breathing and a little static._

_"Dear Comrade, today is April 21__st__, 2003. April Break ended a little bit ago and school's alright. The seventh grade is somewhat boring. I don't like the middle school campus. The halls are garish with their forest green lockers, light blue walls, and orange posters everywhere. I've heard that the high school campus is better." _

_Deep breath._

_"I miss you. I don't know why. I mean, I'm always at your house when your family calls you every other night, and I get to talk to you then, and we email each other every day."_

_Laughs._

_"You know, Jesse Zeklos stole my phone from me today at school. He started looking through my calling history and he saw that I've been calling you the most- even more than my mom. He started spreading around rumors that we're dating- which is gross- and illegal."_

_Deep breath._

_"You must be wondering why I stopped writing letters and started recording CDs instead. I decided that it saves paper to record CDs, especially since my letters are usually really short. I still haven't sent any of them- if I did, you'd think that I was really immature. Plus, I got a CD player with a microphone for my birthday last month and so it works out. Thanks for the awesome journal, by the way. I love it. It's beautiful. My friends were fawning over the black leather when I showed them at school."_

_Deep breath._

_"Anyways, thanks. You're awesome. And I don't know how to end this."_

_Nervous chuckles._

_"Err- Rose is signing off?"_

_Static. _


	11. June 2, 2004: Age 13

_Static._

_Light breathing._

_"Dear Comrade, today's June 2, 2004. I, err, have something to say. I'm not sure how you'll react- good thing you'll never hear this."_

_Nervous laughter and then a deep breath._

_"I think that I might-ah-"_

_Volume suddenly decreases to almost whisper._

_"I think that I might like you._

_"Like, as more than a friend. I know that it's gross and wrong- I mean, you're twenty, and I'm just thirteen. You're nearly done with college and I'm still finishing up middle school. It's wrong and disgusting."_

_Deep breath._

_"I mean, I shouldn't like you, right? You're my best friend, and I've always known that I loved you- as a friend, of course. But recently, I've been wondering…"_

_Sigh._

_"I mean, the highlight of my day is when I get to call you, and after I email you, I literally spend the whole day aching for a reply, and when I get it, it lights up my world and suddenly I feel so… happy._

_"Then at school, according to Mason, I never shut up about you. It's always 'Dimitri this' and 'Dimitri that' according to him, and I can connect nearly anything to you. Right now I'm looking out my bedroom window, the one facing your house, and I'm looking at the big apple tree that we used to climb, and all I can think is 'Comrade and I used to climb up there and I used to sit in his arms for god knows how long,' and then I'll see a book or something and I'll think, 'Comrade loves books. Especially westerns. I wish he was here right now. He could help me with my book project' or something like that. It's ridiculous if you think about it."_

_Silence._

_Light, shallow breathing._

_Nervous chuckle._

_"It's a good thing you'll never hear this- ever. You'd think that I'm a creep. I mean, it's messed up for me to like a twenty year old, right?_

_"I should shut up now. Hopefully, no one will EVER hear of this._

_"Err- Rose signing off."_

_Static._


	12. December 14, 2005: Age 14

_Static._

_"Dear Comrade, today is December 14, 2005._

_"A few CDs ago, I said that I thought that I liked you. Like, like-liked you. Well, I think that it's true._

_"As you know from my previous CDs, Aaron and Lissa started going out. You know, Aaron Drozdov. And according to Lissa, how I feel about you is pretty much how she feels about Aaron. Well, she doesn't know how I feel about you. But I know how she feels about Aaron, so good enough."_

_Silence._

_Intake of breath._

_"Dimitri, I'm scared. What if something's really wrong with me for liking you, for wanting you?"_

_Panicked breathing._

_Calms._

_"Anyways, I told you that I started school on the high school campus now. Everyone was right; the high school campus is a lot nicer. I like the color scheme- red lockers with black tiled floors and white walls._

_"I'm pretty sure that I told you a little about my Peer Guide. Anyways, his name's Adrian Ivashkov. Apparently he stayed back a year- well, no, he had to take a year off for something family-related and so technically he stayed back a year. Anyways, he said that you were his Peer Guide when he was a freshman and you were a senior."_

_Breath._

_"He's really handsome- nothing compared to you, of course, but really handsome all the same. He was light brown hair and emerald green eyes and he's tall, like you, but unlike you, he's really slim. Not that you're fat. You just have a lot of muscle and it shows- he's more lean._

_"Apparently Adrian's a real womanizer. He's nice to me, but he obviously likes me. He calls me 'Little Rosebud' a lot. It was really annoying at first, but I guess I got used to it. Of course, I like it better when you call me 'Roza'."_

_Breath._

_"You're coming home for Christmas soon. I can't wait to see you. I want to hear your voice in person. It's not the same on the phone."_

_Silence._

_Breath._

_"I got an awesome present for you. It took me months of saving up money from chores and shoveling snow and mowing lawns and raking leaves and such, but I managed to save it all. $1655 for an IBM ThinkPad T42 laptop. I hope that you'll like it. I think that you'll need it. No offense, but the crappy computer you have right now sucks, and you'll have to type a lot in law school."_

_Breath._

_"I can't believe you're going to be a lawyer. It'd be cool if you were a criminal defense lawyer, but you'll probably be a corporate lawyer or something. Less cool, but still cool nonetheless. And it has a great pay."_

_"Well, Rose signing off. Can't wait to see you next week!"_

_Static._


	13. May 26, 2006: Age 15

**_A/N: I know I said that I won't be doing too many author's notes in this fic, but I'd just like to reply to a review._**

** Guest: You wrote:**

":I don't get it you have marked this as a D/R story but you have him Mrried to

Tasha, i don't want to rad a story with him Married to Slut-Tasha, just to

hear how Rose wishes she could of told Dimitri how she felt...the ship has

sailed its too late. How depressing this story is, not my type of story to

read and i am soooo sick of people marking their stories incorrectly. I don't

care if its a story about Dimitri and Rose, when fans go onto the FF site to

look up D/R stories the are expecting a D/R story not a Tasha and Dimitri

story, what next is Tasha going to announce she is pregnant."

**I have to say, that hurt. If you didn't notice, this story is marked as "Hurt/Comfort/Angst." If you thought that this was going to be a happy story, then please go search the definitions of "hurt" and "angst" in the dictionary. Also, this is marked as a D/R story because it is about Dimitri and Rose. True, they don't end up together, but the two main characters are still Dimitri and Rose. I don't even know why I'm wasting my time replying to your review.**

**_I don't usually reply to reviews, and I get that if I only ever reply to negative reviews… well, that's not good. But this review really bothered me and I wanted to get it out of my system. As to the other nine POSITIVE reviewers, thank you so much and I really appreciate your comments and feedback._**

**_~42_**

_Static._

_"Dear Comrade, today it's May 26, 2006. Freshman year is almost over- there's less than a month left of school. Teachers are starting to prepare us for finals, which are going to be in two weeks. How's law school? Is it fun? It must be more fun than attending St. Vladimir's Academy for Gifted Students. I'm not even that gifted- I got a C+ on my last science lab. In my defense, my partners were stupid._

_"I really wish that you were here. Today Mia purposely spilt acetanilide on my hand during science class. I was wearing gloves, but some bitch poked a hole in them when I wasn't looking. My hand got all red and itchy. It was awful."_

_Sigh._

_"Mom wasn't home again. She called and said that the business stuff hasn't been resolved yet. If you ask me, she found a hot guy to hook up with, but then again, she's Janine Hathaway. I don't think that 'sex' is in her vocabulary."_

_Chuckles._

_"So yeah, she's still in Turkey. She probably won't come home until June. She's already been there for three months- two months longer than originally planned."_

_Voice breaks._

_"Dimitri, Comrade. Do you think Mom actually loves me? I mean, she says that she does and stuff, but she's never _there _for me. You know?"_

_"I've been staying over at Lissa's house a lot. Mr. and Mrs. Dragomir are really nice, and Andre doesn't mind. I go over to their house for dinner almost every day."_

_"Rose signing off."_

_Static._


	14. November 30, 2006: Age 15

_Static._

_Sobbing._

_Sniffles._

_Nose blown._

_"D-dear C-c-comrade, t-today is N-novemb-b-ber 30, 2006. I-I need you."_

_Sniffles._

_"They're d-d-dead. All of th-them. Andre and Mr. and Mrs. D-dragomir. They're all d-dead. L-Lissa and I are the only ones who s-survived."_

_Pained gasp._

_"I-I already t-told you ab-b-bout the crash. It happened on Thanks-g-giving. They were d-driving me home from the d-dinner at their p-place. It's all m-m-my fault. If I d-didn't go to their house f-for dinner, they wouldn't have driven, and Mr. D-Dragomir wouldn't have c-crashed th-the c-car."_

_Anguished wail._

_"Andre- h-he d-died today at th-the hospital. Internal b-bleeding. As I've a-already t-told y-you in th-the last t-tape, Mr. and M-mrs. Dragomir d-died on imp-pact. L-Lissa h-has a b-broken c-collarbone. O-only I made it out w-with nearly n-no injuries. Th-the worst I g-g-got was a b-broken a-arm."_

_Sniffles._

_"I-I shouldn't h-have made it out. Th-the police said th-that seeing where I w-was sitting, I should've d-died on impact, like Lissa's p-parents. It was a m-miracle th-that I m-made it. L-Lissa m-must hate me. Her whole f-family's dead all b-because of me. What a lousy f-friend I am."_

_Rattling breath._

_"I w-want y-you to c-come back. Please, C-Comrade. Come b-back to me. I w-want to be in y-your arms. I w-want you t-to tell me th-that everything's g-going to b-be okay. I w-want to h-hear your v-voice for r-real in m-my ear."_

_Sigh._

_"M-maybe I'll w-wake up t-tomorrow and this'll all h-have been a bad d-dream. A t-terrible, terrible dream."_

_Shaky breaths._

_"R-Rose s-signing off."_

_Shaky breaths._

_Static._


	15. December 25, 2006: Age 15

_"Dear Comrade, today is December 25, 2006. It's been less than a month since Lissa's family died, yet somehow it's Christmas. We're supposed to be happy and celebrating, but it doesn't feel right, with the deaths still looming over us. You're actually home now- you're still asleep in the guest room, only two rooms away from me right now."_

_Nervous laugh._

_"Oh god, I feel like such an idiot. Remember how I went with Viktoria and Ivan to pick you up, and I literally ran and jumped into your arms- and you caught me, and you weren't even that surprised. I remember you caught me and lifted me up and said in that wonderful accent of yours, 'Hello, Roza.' I'm sure that Ivan and Viktoria would've been quite shocked, if not for the fact that we were kids- and we still are._

_"Oh, you remember Aaron Drozdov, the guy I told you Lissa was going out with? Well they broke up. Lissa ended it with him a week after Andre died. It was a bit harsh of her- he used to follow her around like a lovesick puppy- but I don't really feel bad for him, considering how less than half a month later he starts going out with another girl. And not just another girl. Mia Rinaldi, Queen Bitchy-face. Yup, Aaron starts going out with Mia. Lovely, isn't it?"_

_Deep breath._

_A deep groan from far away._

_"Hey, I think that's you waking up. I wouldn't want you to catch me making this, so I guess I'll be signing off."_

_Long silence._

_In a tiny voice._

_"Love you."_


	16. April 1, 2007: Age 16

_"Dear Comrade, today is April 1, 2007. My birthday just passed- thanks for the ring- I wear it every day. It's almost your birthday, too. I already got your present- an 8GB iPod Touch, you know, the new mp3 player from Apple. It came out in September. I might get one for Lissa for her birthday, too. It's revolutionary- touch screen, video playback, music playback, CoverFlow browsing, Wi-Fi connection, wireless iTunes downloads- I think you'll like it. You can load it up with all that crap ancient country music you like."_

_Laughs._

_"The deaths of the Dragomirs are still weighing heavily on all of us. Lissa's been taking it especially hard now that birthdays are coming up, and she's realizing that she has three less presents to buy this year._

_"She's living as an emancipated minor now. Her parents put it in their will- had it edited in when she turned fifteen. Andre would've been an emancipated minor as well, if he survived. Like Lissa, it was put in their will when _he _was fifteen._

_"Lissa comes over to my place a lot. As I've said, my mom came back for the funerals, which were right before Christmas, and then she left before you came. She's still gone- off in Istanbul again. I swear, if she wasn't Janine Hathaway, I'd say she met a guy and decided that he was worthy to be the father of her perfect children. I don't count, of course. I think she has a thing for Turkish dudes- my dad was Turkish. It's where I got my epic hair."_

_Sighs._

_"Oh, today when I got to school- it's April Fool's Day- but apparently _someone_- cough, cough Jesse Zeklos- stuffed my locker full of used condoms in Ziploc bags. Where he got all the condoms, I have no idea._

_"Well, I gotta go now. I love you. Rose signing off."_


	17. Should I Continue?

**_A/N: In case if you haven't realized, italics are usually letters, recordings, or flashbacks, while regular is usually present day. Usually. Not always._**

I ejected the CD and stopped for a moment. I looked at the clock. It's nearly nine o'clock. I'm on number 15 now.

I didn't know how to feel. I mean, I knew that she loved loves me, but…

Should I stop? These are getting really personal…

No. I want to read them. I want to get through all of them without stopping.

I put in the disk marked "15" and closed my eyes as I listened to it play…


	18. August 28, 2008: Age 17

_"Dear Comrade, it's August 28, 2008. I got a laptop and it records much better sound. You should be able to tell, right?_

_"You're back home again. This time, you're back for good. Well, until you're heavily needed for work. I don't want you to go. You're so nice to me and I feel like nothing's changed. So what if I'm only seventeen and you're twenty-four? I love you and we still get along."_

_Sigh._

_"Senior year starts in a couple days. I can't believe it- this is it. I applied early to Yale and I'm planning on applying regular application to Harvard, Dartmouth, Princeton, Stanford, Conair, you get it, pretty much all of the Ivy League. My safeties are a couple state universities and stuff, but I'm pretty sure that I can get into Ivy League- straigt A+'s, GPA of 4.9, perfect SAT scores, Varsity Soccer, Varsity Debate Team, Ski Team, National Honor Society, community service volunteering as assistant coach of the U11 A Team for soccer for three years. I should be perfect, right?_

_"By the way, I managed to edit out a couple of the mess ups now. You don't get to hear the full version, but still. All I edit out is my breathing._

_"I want to teach. I mean as a professor in college. I want to teach history and be one of those laid back teachers who everyone loves and who decides to take the whole class out to watch some vaguely historical movie, because it's just like that._

_"I love you. Rose signing off."_


	19. November 18, 2008: Age 17

_"Dear Comrade, it's November 28, 2008 and wow, I can't believe it! I got into Yale! I don't have to apply to the other schools now, and I can relax. Thank god._

_"But that's not all. When I told you, well, let's just say that your reaction was awesome! Best gift you could ever have given me!"_

_Ten second pause._

_"You kissed me! Full on the lips! It was the best moment of my life. Ever._

_"Basically, well you know this. But I'm going to pretend that you don't so I can rave about it like a little fangirl. So I came up to you. You were leaning against the big apple tree, reading some western. I tapped you on the shoulder and you looked up, scowling slightly for disturbing your reading, but when you saw it was me, you smiled._

_"'Hey Comrade, guess what?' I asked you, and you replied, 'What is it, Roza?'_

_"I just grinned. 'I got into Yale!' I exclaimed and you smiled. Before I knew it, you'd dropped your book- careful to save the page- and hugged me close to your chest. I could feel your heartbeat, even through the layers of clothing. My face was nestled into the crook of your neck and I could feel your breath on the back of my neck._

_"I remember that I felt so happy, because as you might know by now, I'm secretly in love with you. Of course, I didn't know that it'd get even better._

_"We stayed like that for what could've been seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, or even years. But then you pulled back, and I remember seeing you gaze into my eyes, which were focused on your lips. Your wonderful, sexy, beautiful, full lips._

_"You said something. I wasn't paying attention at the time, but now I remember: you said, 'Roza. You are amazing.' And then you leaned in."_

_Exhales._

_"Best moment of my life. Really. It was amazing. Heaven on Earth. Your lips- soft but firm, against my own, working together, forging a connection, a bond._

_"You were the first one to pull away. The look in your eyes- Comrade, I'm going to remember that forever. It wasn't lust or want. It was pure love and adoration, and I'm pretty sure that my eyes reflected the same._

_"Afterwards, I just sat with you, nestled into your warm embrace. Time passed."_

_Sighs._

_"I'm too lazy to edit this clip."_

_"Thank you, Comrade. It was the best day of my life. I love you."_


	20. June 13, 2009: Age 18

_"Dear Comrade, it's June 13, 2009. Graduation was yesterday. Also known as the best day of my life. Better than the first time you kissed me. Way better._

_"You slept with me. Took my virginity. And I honestly can't be happier that you were the one to do it. You were awfully romantic, too. And then this morning- waking up in your arms…_

_"I saw you in the crowd. I was the salutatorian and I saw you sitting with my family as I gave my speech. Then after the ceremony, you kissed me, and told me you had a surprise for me._

_"The surprise was a little cabin, in the woods behind our houses…_

_"You were so romantic. Rose petals, candles, everything in the book."_

_"I mean it with every fiber of my being when I say this: I love you with all my heart, Dimitri Belikov."_


	21. September 3, 2009: Age 18

_"Dear Comrade, it's September 3, 2009. Why didn't you tell me that you got a job in NYC? I started college at Yale, and it does not disappoint. Unlike some people._

_"All I know, is that I haven't seen you since I woke up next to you the day after graduation. We kissed, you said you loved me, you drove me home, and then we kissed again. I don't see what happened that made you just… leave. Viktoria told me that you left later that day for NYC, that you got a job._

_"It's been months since I saw you. You haven't emailed, called, or texted. I wanted so badly to go over to your house for the family calls like I used to, but it felt intrusive, seeing as you haven't bothered to contact me at all. Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough?"_

_Shaky breath._

_"I kept on thinking that I did something wrong, that I drove you away. I want that to be the case, not that you just don't want to see me anymore. Anything but that. Comrade, please tell me that you love me, that you haven't forgotten about me."_

_"I miss you, so much. College is great, but still. Where's my best friend?"_


	22. March 29, 2010: Age 19

_"Dear Comrade. Guess what day it is? March 29, that's what. Does that ring a bell? Oh yeah, IT'S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY YOU ASSHOLE!_

_"NO EMAIL, NO CALL, NO TEXTS, NO PRESENT, NOTHING!_

_"Do I really mean that little to you? I even already got you your present, and your birthday isn't for a while._

_"You didn't even come to my party. I know that I sent you an invitation- actually, I sent you three- one by email and two by snail mail. You didn't even RSVP._

_"I want to say that I hate you. But I can't. Even though you're being a total ass-wipe, you're still the love of my life. I still sleep with a picture of you under my pillow in my dorm room, and another one in a frame on my nightstand, right next to the ones of my family. That's how important you are to me, Comrade._

_"I still kiss the picture of you every night before I sleep._

_"I still pray that you'll call me, even though I'm an atheist._

_"Why won't you contact me? I have to learn all your news through Vika! Congratulations on your recent case. Big money, right?_

_"I can't help but still like you, even though you're being such a jerk."_

_"Forever yours, if you want me, Rose signing off."_


	23. May 2, 2011: Age 20

_"Dear Comrade, it's May 2, 2011. It's nearly been two years, and still no word from you. I've heard that you're very successful. Congrats._

_"Another missed birthday, come and gone. I went to a club with a couple of friends, and guess what? They tried to hook me up with this smoking hot guy, and yet all I could think of was you! You've ruined all men for me. Maybe I'll have to become a lesbian or something._

_"Adrian Ivashkov's reappeared in my life. He, unlike _some people_, is still in contact with me! He's really nice, when he's not drunk, of course._

_"Hell, even Ivan freaking Zeklos has been by. You know, your best bud? He's still in contact with you. Am I the only freaking person in the world who you don't speak to anymore?_

_"Thanks, Comrade. Best friends forever, right? You said that you'd love me. Why don't you even speak to me? You know, I read about you in an online journal. Apparently you're getting quite rich. Multi-millionaire at twenty-seven. Fantastic._

_"I've tried to erase you from my mind, but it doesn't work. So I still love you. Deal with it."_


	24. June 20, 2013: Age 22

_"Dear Comrade, it's June 20, 2013. I graduated this year. As celebration, my friends and I went out clubbing. I got laid for the first time since you. It was fucking terrible. Nothing compared to you. I swear, you've ruined sex for me, too._

_"Still no word from you. It's been three years. If I can't get my love back, I want my best friend back. I want the guy who used to climb trees with me, and help me with my homework. I want the guy who'd carry me home if I hurt my ankle, even if it's a mile walk. I want my Comrade._

_"You're getting quite famous now. I mean, there can't be that many twenty-eight year old billionaires, right?_

_"I'm not even sure if I'll continue to make this anymore. I mean, there's no point. You're obviously out of my life now. You even denied my friend request on Facebook._

_"Bye. As much as it hurts, I still love you."_


	25. May 27, 2017: Age 26

_"Dear Comrade, it's May 27, 2017. I was cleaning out my apartment when I found this peculiar box of recordings and letters- all to you. And since it's been four years since I've last did one, well, why not?_

_"I'm not quite sure how to do this, so bear with me._

_"Okay, so I'm teaching European History at Harvard University. I'm known as 'The Thorn' or 'Prickles' by my students. They like me, so far. I'm very harsh when it comes to grading- I've seen more than a few students cry because their paper- which most teachers would grade as a B- got a C-, but hey, that's how I roll. However, my class is very relaxed in general, and they enjoy all of the weird stuff I get to show them. It doesn't hurt that I'm only a few years older than most of these kids either._

_"I remember me saying something in one of my previous recordings about me possibly becoming lesbian to deal with your rejection. Well, that hasn't happened yet. I'm still perfectly heterosexual. Well actually, I'm more of a dimitribelikovsexual, but whatever._

_"I still love you. A lot. I still sleep with a picture of you under my pillow. Yes, I'm just that sad. I can't forget you. It's been eight years, yet…_

_"Well, I'm not quite sure how to end this. I love you."_


	26. March 29, 2018: Age 27

_"Dear Comrade, it's March 29, 2018. Yup, it's my twenty-seventh birthday, and guess what? You emailed me!_

_"I was checking my email before class and I literally almost passed out. The students were very worried._

_"You wrote, 'Roza, I know it's been a while. I'm sorry for losing touch with you. My life was… difficult to manage. Please forgive me. I've heard that you've been doing well as well- European History professor at Yale, right? I wish that I drove up to visit. I would've if I could, but work is busy and no offense, but visiting my family has priority over visiting you. I'd like to meet up with you again. You know, just to catch up. Can you meet me at Starbucks in New Haven on April 3 at around eight o'clock pm? I'm going to be up there for work, and since you're also teaching there, maybe we could catch up. Forever your friend, D. Belikov.'_

_"I'm honestly not sure how to act. I mean, yeah, I really want to see you again, and I'm so happy that you emailed, but it's been nine years. Last time I saw you, I was eighteen and we slept together. I woke up in your arms, you made breakfast, kissed me, and then left, saying that you had to go home for something. How was I supposed to know that that was the moment when you'd walk out of my life for nearly a decade? _

_"But what I absolutely don't know, is how the hell am I going to forgive you?"_


	27. April 3, 2018: Age 27

_"Dear Comrade, it's April 3, 2018. I saw you for the first time in nearly nine years. I'm not even sure how to react. I mean, I missed you so much, but seriously, Comrade- nine years! That's almost a decade! To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to come to the meeting at all. I was able to somewhat live my life without you for that long, and honestly, your reentry might set off a few things and how would I know whether or not you'd just disappear again?_

_"Nevertheless, I was happy that I went. We're both old now- I'm twenty-seven, you're thirty-four- but you still look as handsome as ever. Really, you do. I was surprised at how easily we clicked even after so long- conversation with you was as easy as ever. The only awkward moments were at the beginning._

_"I got there early- 7:45-ish and I got a coffee. I took a table next to the window, so I could get a glimpse of you walking in. You hadn't changed much. You walked in through the door promptly at 8:00 and I saw you scan the room. You saw me and walked straight over. You were wearing a duster, like always, and you wore a pair of khakis, a white button-down shirt, a gray vest, and a darker gray tie. I was wearing gray slacks, a white blouse, and a black coat. I hadn't been able to get home and change after classes. I drove right over from campus. It was obvious that you hadn't had a chance to change after whatever meeting you were at either._

_"You came over and sat across from me, eyeing my now-empty coffee cup. No one spoke. I remember you studying me, as if trying to see where I've changed, where I've matured from the little girl who was your best friend._

_"After a couple minutes, you were the first to speak. 'Hazelnut, two creams, and four sugars,' you said. Your voiced hadn't changed at all- deliciously low and accented, and somewhat matured. I was confused at first, but then I realized that you were guessing what type of coffee I had. _

_"I nodded. 'How'd you know?' I asked. You only smiled._

_"'You never change, Roza.'_

_"There was another awkward silence. This time, I was the one to break it. 'Where were you?' I demanded._

_"You looked down sheepishly. 'I- I don't know,' you murmured._

_"'What do you mean, you don't know?'_

_"You met my gaze and looked straight into my eyes. I even recorded your confession."_

_Click of a button pressed._

_Recording._

_"'I'm not sure why I cut you out of my life. It's just, I guess I felt guilty. I mean, when we slept together, I was twenty-five, out of college, out of law school, while you were only eighteen, just graduated from high school. It seemed wrong, so I decided that I needed a little space- maybe, say, a month. Well, a month turned into two, which turned into half a year, and before I knew it, it'd been a year. I was going to email you, but then I realized that you were in your freshman year of college, that you were probably busy studying for finals. I told myself that I'd wait until freshman year was over for you, and I'd come visit in the summer._

_"'But, instead, I had to go to Russia for a business meeting, and then by the time I came back, it was already September. You were easy back into college schedule, so I told myself that I'd wait a while before contacting you. After all, you were busy and I would probably distract you. Before I knew it, it'd been another year and now you were a junior. A junior, probably studying for midterms, I told myself. I decided to wait._

_"'Before I knew it, you were out of college and I decided that it'd be the perfect time to contact you again. I knew that it'd been a long time, but I was sure that you'd be happy to see me. I'd already bought my plane ticket and everything, but then work came up- there was some sort of copyright infringement- another company was using our patented technology, and I was sent to sort that out. I gave the ticket to Ivan, who flew over instead._

_"'When the case was over- we won, I met with Ivan and asked how you were. He said that you wouldn't even mention me, and every time he tried to bring you up, you started crying. I decided that it'd be a bad time to go see you, and I decided to push it off some more. I didn't want to just call you- I wanted to see you in person._

_"'Then, time slipped by again, and it'd been four more years, and I heard from Ivan that you were a history professor at Harvard University. I had business at Yale, so I decided that it'd be perfect for us to meet. I emailed you and well, here I am._

_"'Never think for a moment that I forgot about you. Not a single day passed that you weren't on my mind.'"_

_Click._

_Recording ends._

_"I was crying, Comrade. Of course, you knew that- you were there. I was going to tell you that I thought about you every day, too, that I still loved you. But instead, somehow, the subject of _us_- our short relationship- was left nearly untouched. We chatted idly, discussing this and that, and before I knew it, it was almost ten and I had to drive home for the class I had to teach the next day, and you had to get to the airport for your flight back home that left at midnight. We hugged and said goodbye, and you kissed the back of my hand, like the gentleman you always were, and then we parted ways._

_"I have to remember to tell you that I love you next time I see you, Comrade. Because I do. I really do."_


	28. May 27, 2018: Age 27

_"Dear Comrade, it's May 27, 2018. Your birthday. I flew down to NYC yesterday and I'm planning to surprise you at your apartment today. It's four in the morning right now-but I can't sleep. I haven't seen you since April._

_"Ivan gave me your spare apartment key, the one that you gave to him. I've got your present, balloons, and a cake. I'm throwing a surprise party. Ivan, Lissa, Christian, Tasha, Adrian, Vika, Karo, and Sonya are all coming. Too bad Olena and Yeva can't._

_"Ivan told me that you get home from work at about six, so I'll go over with Ivan at about four and we'll begin decorating your place. The others will come at about five-thirty, and then we'll all hide and when you turn on the lights, we'll jump out and surprise you. It's going to be awesome._

_"I can't wait. I'll finally be able to tell you that I still love you."_


	29. May 28, 2018: Age 27

_"Dear Comrade, it's May 28, 2018. Your party went well- you were so surprised! However, what didn't go well was my confession._

_"Actually, I didn't confess. Instead, you decided to make a wonderful little announcement. You and Tasha were going out. It made my day._

_"So, after bawling for about four hours, I decided to suck it up and be happy for you guys. After all, Tasha's had a crush on you since God knows when, and it's good that you can make her happy._

_"But still, really, Tasha? What the hell do you see in her? She's so skinny, she might as well be anorexic, and she has that ugly scar on her cheek._

_"Actually, fine. Her scar is wicked cool. I mean, it looks epic. It makes her look tough. Which she is. I mean, she fought off a rapist when she was fourteen, which gave her the scar, but still. And now she's a martial arts instructor and everything._

_"But still. You slept with me when I was eighteen! You took my virginity after graduation! We've been friends forever! So what happened? I know we lost contact, but shouldn't our connection be stronger? Shouldn't we be closer?_

_"So why don't you want me anymore?"_


	30. August 24, 2019: Age 28

_"Dear Comrade, it's August 24, 2019. Well, you and Tasha have been going out for a year three months now. Congratulations, I guess. I want to be happy, but how am I supposed to be happy that the man I love is going out with another woman? It sounds stupid- I'm twenty-eight years old and I sound like a jealous teenager, and you're thirty-five- not a good time to be involved in a love triangle._

_"I can tell that you still like me. You always seem to… study me whenever you see me. Not exactly checking me out, but still. Close enough. You kiss me on the cheek when we greet each other. You touch me a lot- on the arm, the thigh, the back, the waist. More than her, anyways. _

_"Do you really think that I'm too young for you? If that's the case, well Comrade, we're both mature adults now. Well, somewhat mature. But still. It isn't against the law for you to do anything to me! It hasn't been for a decade!_

_"Tasha's older than you. Sure, there's not as much as of an age difference, but still. Do you only like older women? Is that it?_

_"Look at you, turning me, a twenty-eight year old woman into a whiny, angsty, lovesick teenager again._

_Cellphone rings._

_"Hey look, you called me. Gotta go talk to the real you now."_


	31. April 22, 2020: Age 29

_"Dear Comrade, it's April 22, 2020. I honestly don't know what to do now. It's almost been a year. You and Tasha. A thing. An item. I've tried again to get over you- a couple one-night stands, like the ones I originally tried all those years ago. Honestly, what I felt could be pleasure, but then compared to what it was like with you, it was nothing. Absolutely nothing. _

_"The good thing is, I've been seeing you a lot more often- at least once a month, if not once a week. You somehow manage to make time for me even with your busy schedule- even if that time is usually spent with you mooning over Tasha and asking what you should get her for your anniversary. But just having sit across from me in Starbucks is better than cutting off contact altogether._

_"You've brought up one thing that no matter how I try, I just can't accept. You've talked about proposing soon- it's been nearly a year, and you've known each other since you were kids. I mean, why not? You two are obviously a match made in Heaven._

_"I hate it, really. Hearing you talk about another girl- one who you want to marry, to have a family with. Honestly, it rips me apart. I wish that _we _could be a thing. Maybe all we had was just nothing to you. A fling with a friend, who you look at like a sister. Who'd only hold you back from your wonderful law career._

_"You know, it's that time of year again. I'm teaching about Soviet Russia again- which only makes me think of you. The first time I had to teach it, I almost started crying when I said 'U.S.S.R.' for the first time. Remember when I used to think that the U.S.S.R. was called the R.S.S.R.? Good times, right? Carefree, naïve, high school times. Of course, you were already in college, but what did it matter? We were friends, you were nice. End of story._

_"You know, I told myself that I'd be willing to take whatever role I can in your life, but sometimes, I wonder if I really can."_


	32. July 23, 2021: Age 30

"_Dear Comrade, it's July 23, 2021. You've set a date for your wedding. In fact, it's going to be next year- August 16, 2022. You've already decided that Christian would be best man and that I'd get to be the maid of honor. Wow. What an _honor _that will be._

"_Is it bad that I still really want you? Would you hate me forever if I tried to get you to sleep with me one last time before you were married off? Before I'd never be able to have you again? But then again, I know you and your morals. You'd never allow it. Olena's always told you to respect your women and all that, and I'm pretty sure that cheating on your fiancée is _not _very respectful. Who am I kidding? You'd definitely hate me if I tried to make a move on you._

"_My biggest question is this: What does she have that I don't? Do you like stick-skinny girls with tiny boobs? Cause that's all I see. Maybe you like her scar- I have to admit, it _is _pretty badass. Maybe you like her personality- independent yet still a bit clingy. But you've said that I have a 'free spirit'. Is that not good enough? I mean, you said it as a compliment…_

"_I know that there was a period of time when I was willing to stop eating to lose enough weight so I'd be as skinny as Tasha… but then I remembered how before when I was still in high school, you came home once and started ranting about how anorexia didn't make people more beautiful and how you pitied those who had it. I don't want you to pity me._

"_The funny thing is, if you ever heard any of this, you'd definitely pity me. I mean, I'm thirty, I _should _be getting married or at least in a serious relationship, I should be having kids soon. I mean, if you think about it, I'm headed for a really sad existence: living life alone, pining after the man who stole my heart when I was in high school, forced to watch him be happy with his wife and family. It sounds like something from a novel."_

Doorbell rings in background.

"_Oh, I forgot, you're coming over today. Hopefully, you won't talk about wedding plans, or god forbid, children."_


	33. September 2, 2021: Age 30

_"Dear Comrade. It's September 2, 2021. Less than a year until your wedding. I can't wait._

_"You know, there's a student in my class named 'Dimitri', only he spells it 'Dmitry', so it's a bit easier for me. He's Russian, too, except he was born in the US, so he doesn't have an accent. Plus, he's blond. Definitely not like you. But the name's enough to throw me off, so I always refer to him by his last name. He asked why, once, and I told him it was because his last name was cool. And it is. 'Volkov'. That's a pretty damn good last name._

_"Anyways, Christian and Lissa were over earlier. As you know, their wedding was a few weeks ago. At least they also get a happy ending. Adrian was the best man and I was the maid of honor, again. Now they're talking about having kids…_

_"Honestly, nothing would make me happier than having a kid with you._

_"Did I seriously just say that?_

_"Whatever, it's not like anyone else is ever going to hear this._

_"You came over too with Tasha. Not at the same time as Christian and Liss, but you came. You two were making gushy faces and goo goo eyes at each other the whole time. You kissed her and whispered to her in your native tongue- with terms I remember from our childhood and our very short relationship. I've never heard you call her _milaya, _though; you used to call me that all the time. When I was little, I thought it was silly that you always called me 'sweetheart', and then when we started going out, it became our 'thing'- I was _Milaya Roza _and you were _Comrade_. _

_"Our time together is getting shorter, and my chances of being with you one last time are diminishing. I love you, Comrade."_


	34. January 2, 2022: Age 30

_"Dear Comrade, it's now January 2, 2022. A little more than half a year until your wedding. Christian and Lissa threw a New Year's party at their place. Everyone from the old gang was there- me, you, Tasha, Ivan, Jesse, Mason, Eddie, Adrian, Liss, Christian, and Mia. Adrian also brought his latest conquest, a girl named Sydney Sage, but I think that those two might actually have a future together. Unlike the other girls, Sydney actually has the spunk to argue and sass Adrian, and she isn't just some whore who just spreads her legs at the snap of his fingers. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she and Adrian still haven't been together yet._

_"I'm coming up with a plan, you know. I want to sleep with you one last time before you get married. I know that your morals will probably never let it happen, but maybe if I beg and grovel enough, or if you're drunk enough, I can… _

_"Right now, I'm sure of it. In fact, only one thing can stop me from carrying it out. All you need to do to stop me from executing my plan is to provide concrete evidence that you truly love Tasha. I mean yeah, you care for her. You two play kissy-face and probably more than that, yet something tells me that you two don't exactly make love, like we did, but fuck. You two just don't seem to have the deep emotional bond that we used to have._

_"But seriously. If I am convinced that you truly love Tasha, then I'll stop. I'll give up. Because your happiness is all I want now."_


	35. May 19, 2022: Age 31

_"Dear Comrade, it's May 19, 2022. Less than three months until your wedding. Liss, Tasha, Mia, Sydney, and I have gone out for some last-minute dress fittings. I can't believe it- Adrian's been able to keep the same girl for over five months- almost half a year. Very impressive for him._

_"The color scheme is just like that of our old high school- red, black, and white. The bridesmaids are all wearing these red dresses with black sashes with white roses on them (the sashes). I'm pretty sure that the groomsmen are wearing black suits with red button-down shirts and white ties. The bride's wearing the traditional white, of course. And I'm assuming that you're just going to be wearing a normal, black and white tuxedo. I have no doubt that you'll look absolutely delicious._

_"I can't believe it. You'll be forever barred from me in just a few tiny months._

_"Afterwards, I guess I'll just have to forget that I ever loved you."_


	36. The Date

**_A/N: Hey guys. This story is probably going to come to an end in a few more chapters- I'd give it no more than ten (and remember, these are really short), probably around five or six. I just wanted to thank you all for bearing with me as I know that I am very inconsistent with my updates and I realize how patient you guys have had to be to wait for all of this. Expect two more Dimitri POVs (including this chapter) and maybe three or four recordings before this fic ends._**

**_~42_**

* * *

I could feel myself begin to tense up as I popped the CD out and put the next one in. It was getting awfully close to The Date. The one that I most likely shall never speak of again.

Except maybe I will. After I'm done listening to all these numbered CDs, I'll go give Rose a visit, talk it out a little. I guess I should've known how she felt about me- we never officially broke it off, and I'd been sending her mixed signals as well, and then The Date…

All I knew was that any moment now, Roza is going to start talking about The Date- and how I completely and utterly shattered her heart.


	37. June 21, 2022: Age 31

_"Dear Comrade, it's June 21, 2022. It's almost your wedding, and I honestly am about to fall apart. The only thing left is my plan, which I doubt will work._

_"I've been mentioning seducing you to sleep with me one more time, and now I know that I'm going to do it. I don't care if I have to get you drunk before you get into me- I'll even pay you. But that's insulting to you. You are definitely not a prostitute._

_"I promise that the time when I execute my plan will be the only time I'll ever attempt a romantic relationship with you ever again. I'll settle for a completely platonic relationship afterwards. It'll be like a one-night stand._

_"God, what I'm willing to do for you."_


	38. July 7, 2022: Age 31

_"Dear Comrade, it's July 7, 2022. It's almost time. A little more than a month until you're gone. I'll miss you. I don't think I'll be able to handle seeing you with _her _so much, so I'll probably play a much smaller role in your life than I am now._

_"Tasha's really close to turning into a bridezilla. She's starting to be really OCD and _everything_ has to be perfect. I got a tiny spot of dirt on my dress the other day and she freaked. She also got really mad at the stylist for suggesting that she cover her scar with makeup. _That _I can understand. If I was her, I wouldn't cover the scar either. Also, if I was her, I'd have you. But that's beside the point._

_"Your bachelor's party is, of course, the night before the wedding. Tasha's party's at the same time. I'm hoping to be able to be able to slip away from her party and get to yours. I'll say that I have a headache or something. I'll figure it out then."_


	39. August 15, 2022: Age 31

_"Dear Comrade, it's August 15, 2022. It's time for the bachelor and bachelorette parties. I've got it all planned out: I'll leave Tasha's party around eleven forty, sneak into yours- Christian told me that it'd be at Royal, the club that just opened about a year ago. I'll get in, somehow convince you to go to bed with me, whether it be with you drunk or sober, and I'll sneak home in the morning, get ready for the wedding, and leave this part of my life completely behind me._

_"It's perfect. Wish me luck."_


	40. August 19, 2022: Age 31

_[Slurred]_

_"Dear Comrade, it's, ah hell, wha' day 'sit? Wait- oh, 'ts Augus' 19. Thanks, by tha way, for tha absolutely _wonderful_ nigh' on tha 15__th__. It was jus' as I 'membered- too bad ya didn't think so. I really appreciated tha 'talk' ya gave me a' tha reception 'bout staying tha fuck outta yer love life. Well guess wha'? I don't care, ya dickhead. Go fuck yer skinny bimbo of a wife whenever ya want, have ugly little bitchy children wiv 'er, whatever. I thought we could handle this maturely and just cut tha ties o' our 'lationship but obviously, you're such an immature assho' tha' ya couldn't just leave it a', 'Thank, 'Mitri. I assure ya, this'll be tha last time I'll bother ya.' No, ya jus' _had _ta corner me at tha reception and demand me ta stay out of yer love life. What were yer exact words? Oh yeah, 'Love fades, mine has.' Well duh. I realized tha' years ago. All I wanted was closure and ya almost gave it to me before fucking it all up. Thanks a lot._

_"Dammit, I'm out o' beer. Hmm, now what? Oh! Fuck yeah, I got some whiskey. I forgot that I had this muthafucking gift from God. Mm, 'ts good._

_"Anyways, the sex was good. I can give ya that. It was good 'til tha poin' when ya suddenly stopped an' realized tha fucking me was a bad, bad idea. Then I told you tha I still loved ya, an' you laughed an' then took my heart an' stomped all over it. Didn't think you were tha kind o' guy, _Dimka_, bu' apparently, I don't know you as well as I thought I did. _

_"At least I have alc'hol, but it'll run out 'fore tomorrow. I'm gonna have a bitch ova hango'er 'morrow an' I'm gonna like it. Ya see, it 'tracts me from the pain of you shatterin' my heart. Go ta hell, Dimitri Belikov."_


	41. August 20, 2022: Age 31

_"Oh god. My head hurts so much right now! Ugh, kill me, Comrade. It's the 20__th__ and my had feels like it's going to explode! I shouldn't have drunk so much in the past few days, but what was I supposed to do? Let the all-consuming pain of getting my heart crushed overpower me? But then again, I suppose it did- it did drive me to get completely wasted. Too bad I ran out. God, the pain is everywhere now._

_"I take back all the bad things I said about you yesterday, too. I don't blame you. Olena raised you to be a kind, respectful man and what you did proved it. The only thing I'm mad at you about is that you didn't mention our relationship together when you came back. I was all for rekindling it, if you haven't noticed by now._

_"You know, I've realized something, too: you've been my drive for most of my life. When I was little, it was, 'If you get bigger and smarter, then Dimitri will like you more and he'll play with you more!' When I got older, it slowly turned into, 'If you're mature enough, then maybe Dimitri will notice you in a romantic way and want to go out with you!' and then 'Well, now that Dimka-the-Asshat has decided to forget all about you, you should become super successful and rub it into his face when he comes back.' But now that you're back, and we're friends, and you're married, I just don't know what to do anymore. I know you too well; you'd never divorce someone, let alone Tasha, your friend since you were twelve. You're too good to do that. You're also too good to take a mistress or cheat on your wife in any way whatsoever. And I don't want to hurt you anymore. So now my life's empty. There's no more, 'Impress Dimitri and he'll love you,' there's no, 'If you make him feel bad for ditching you, he'll come back and love you. I have to face it: You're deeply in love with Tasha and that's never going to change._

_"But know this, Comrade: I will love you forever, whether you return it or not."_


	42. September 6, 2022: Age 31

_"Dear Comrade, it's September 6, 2022. Thank god school starts late this year. I don't think I can work yet. I'm not sure why they decided to start on September 12__th__, but either way, I'm thankful. I can't go back to work. Not after what happened. I still haven't left my house. You've come over with Tasha, Lissa's been over with Christian, and then there's me sitting here forever alone with my trusty old bottles of Sam Adams. _

_"I'm going back to Boston on the 10__th__. I'm pretty sure I'll see you before then, but if not, goodbye. Enjoy your life. Have many little mini-Dimitris and mini-Tashas running around the house. I'm sure you won't see me again once I leave. Too painful. I'll probably move to Boston permanently and settle. Or maybe not. I'm still not quite sure._

_"Oh yeah, and this is definitely the last CD. I think I'm going to send them to you now, maybe a ding-dong ditch the day before I leave. Or maybe even the day I leave. I have a late flight- I can get away with it._

_"Goodbye, Comrade. I love you always."_


	43. Two Days

I took off my headphones. True to her word, this was the last CD in the box. I checked my phone for the time. 11:49 PM, September 10, 2022. Rose's flight left for Boston a few hours ago. She said her goodbye earlier when the gang was all at my house yesterday. She didn't give a single hint that she wouldn't be coming back.

I didn't want her to leave.

I just sat there, staring at nothing for a long time.


	44. One Day

_The next day…_

I woke up to an empty bed. The spot next to me was still warm and I could hear Tasha brushing her teeth in the bathroom. I'd crawled into bed last night around 1AM, long after Tasha fell asleep. I checked the time on my watch. It was 8:32. I slept in.

I crawled out of bed and was grateful for it to be a Sunday. I could just lounge around at home in my boxers if I wanted to.

I walked into the kitchen wearing only a pair of sweatpants. I was too lazy to put on a shirt. Still numb from Rose's "gift" from yesterday, I began to make breakfast.

I'd just finished the pancakes and set them on the table when Tasha walked in. She wore an old t-shirt of mine and shorts. "Good morning, Dimka."

"Good morning, beautiful," I replied, kissing her on the cheek, like I did every morning. She went to get the maple syrup while I got the forks and plates. Tasha must've noticed that I wasn't in a good mood today and she didn't say anything. We ate in silence.

After breakfast, I excused myself to go into my office again. I logged onto my laptop and emailed Rose.

_To: thornyrose  
From: dbelikov  
Hey Roza. How's MA? School starts tomorrow, right? I hope you have a nice day._

A few seconds later, a reply came, but through chat instead of mail.

**_Rose Hathaway: _**_hi comrade. yeah, i have 3 classes 2morrow. 1st one at 8- ugh. :P  
__**me: **__Wow. That's too bad. Get lots of sleep tonight. You'll need it.  
__**Rose Hathaway: **__i know, _mother_. im not 12 anymore._

I chuckled._  
__**me: **__I know, Roza.  
__**Rose Hathaway: **__well, c u._

I frowned. Didn't her CD say she was leaving?

**_me: _**_See you, Roza._

Rose logged off of her email- or maybe she went invisible- and I sighed. I really didn't want her to leave. I wanted to talk to her more.

I spent the rest of the day lounging around in my boxers, watching reruns on TV. Definitely not typical Dimitri Belikov behavior. But I had to figure out the mystery that was Rose.


	45. Catastrophe

_The next day…_

_Brrrring brrrrring! Brrrring brrrrring!_

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing on the nightstand next to my head.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

_"Dimka!"_

"Mama?!" I said in surprise, "Chto sluchilos'? Vse v poryadke?" What happened? _Is everything okay?_

_"Eto Roza," _she said, crying. _It's Rose. "Roza mertva." Rose is dead._

"Chto? Mama, ne shutit' na menya. Pochemu vy nazvali menya?" I replied angrily. _What? Mama, don't play jokes on me. Why did you call me?_

_"YA ser'yezno. Roza mertva." I'm serious. Rose is dead._

I blinked, the fact not really sinking in. "Kakim obrazom?" I croaked. _How?_

_"Samoubiystvo. Ona zastrelilas' . Oni ne znayut , gde ona vzyalapistolet," _my mother replied. _Suicide. She shot herself. They don't know where she got the gun._

"Otkuda ty znayesh' ?" I demanded. _How do you know?"_

_"Yeye mat' pozvonila mne . Byli noty. Tri iz nikh . Odin dlya yeye roditeley , po odnomu dlya Lissa , i dlya vas," _she replied. _Her mother called me. There were notes. One for her parents, one for Lissa, and one for you. _My blood ran cold.

"YA yedu do." _I'm driving up._

"Where are you driving to?" Tasha asked.

"Boston."

"Why?"

"Rose is dead."

Tasha looked at me funny. "Ha ha, very funny, Dimka. So you're going to see Rose."

"No. Rose is dead. There's a note for me. I'm going to go get it." There was no emotion in my voice.

"Is she really?"

I nodded.

I could see tears gathering in Tasha's eyes. "I'm coming, too."

**_A/N: All I will say on what happened is this: Some of you guys saw it coming, some didn't. To those who didn't, sorry about crushing your dreams of a happy ending._**

**_I will apologize for the bad Russian- it's from Google Translate and being bilingual myself (I'm fluent in Mandarin Chinese), I know how bad the translations can be. So I'm sorry about the mangled language. Someday I'll learn Russian myself and be able to translate it somewhat more accurately. But I'll need to finish learning French first. Then maybe Japanese. Or Korean. Or German. Or Spanish. *Sigh* I want to learn too many languages._**

**_Oh yeah, finals and school are over, so I'll be posting one update a day for this story now. There are only like three chapters left. For those who read _****To Make Him Proud****_, I should be starting that one up again soon. I've had to entirely change how I wanted the story to go out, though. _**

**_~42_**


	46. The Note

**_A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. You can skip this author's note if you want. I just need to vent out my feelings and what a better place to do so than in an author's note on a fanfiction? I'm afraid that the anonymous reviewer from Chapter 13 has returned with more, err, _****discourteous ****_words and I have to say, I don't mind being criticized, as long as it's constructive, but flames…_**

**_Fine, but if you're going to flame, I'd appreciate it if you'd do it while signed into your account or at least leave a Guest name so I can defend myself (i.e., Morbid, another negative guest reviewer). I guess I'm angrier about the completely anonymous review than Morbid's because I can't even give them a name. I have my settings set so that all Guest reviews show up because I trust you guys to be reasonable. I'm sorry I disappointed you by killing Rose off and I assure you, I did not take any pleasure in doing so. I'm not proud of myself for killing off my favorite character in the whole series; I'm not trying to flaunt Dimitri's relationship with Tasha. I have to say, your reviews really hurt me and FF deciding to email me about them right in a row didn't help either. _**

**_On another note, thank you to all of my 180 (as of 10:40 EST this morning) _****positive ****_reviewers. You guys have kept me going and I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I've had this ending planned out since I started this fic, so I'm sorry if it looked like I just ignored most of your suggestions. I wanted to attempt this kind of ending because I've noticed that most fics like this usually end up with Rose and Dimitri together and everything being perfect. I wanted to explore what would happen if they _****didn't ****_get their happily ever after and if Rose _****wasn't ****_strong enough to get over it. I did say this was based off of _****Thirteen Reasons Why****_ by Jay Asher, and I wanted to try out the concept of a character killing themself and leaving another character message(s) explaining why. I've never written anything like this before and I wanted to test myself to see if I could get the sympathy from the readers, if I could portray the characters' emotions strongly enough to touch the readers. I wanted to see if my writing was good enough to pull a story like this off, I wanted to see how fans would react if Rose and Dimitri _****didn't ****_end up happily ever after._**

**_Thanks again to all of you for sticking by me and this fic even after I failed to keep my promise of updating once a week. I don't usually have that much time to write, but you guys have made it worth it._**

**_~42_**

**_PS, this is the longest AN I've ever written. :P _**

It was nearly four when we reached Boston. I drove to Rose's rented apartment and parked the car in a parking garage nearby. The whole time I was emotionless. It still hadn't quite sunken in. Rose couldn't be dead. She was alive yesterday. I chatted with her online. She said, "well, c u." That meant she was going to see me later, right?

I ran up the stairs, too lazy to take the elevator. Her door was open. Police tape was blocking my path, and I saw officers investigating. Then it hit me. I was so stupid- they would've moved the body by now.

One of the officers saw me. "Excuse me," he said, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, sir. I was wondering where Rose's body is now," I told him.

"I'm afraid that's private, sir," he said.

"Please, I'm her friend," I told him. "I'm Dimitri Belikov."

"Belikov, eh?" he looked at me. "There's a note for you."

"I know."

"Can I see some ID?"

I pulled out my drivers' license and handed it to him.

"Her body's at the coroner's. The note's at the station. I'm not sure if they'll release it yet, though. The investigation isn't done yet."

"I know. I'm a lawyer. Thank you, Officer-"

"-Croft. Hans Croft."

"Thank you, Officer Croft."

I sprinted back downstairs and saw Tasha waiting for me. "I was so stupid," I said. "The notes are at the station."

I arrived at the police station. After going through the process of me begging for it ,then the police checking and confirming my identity, and then making me put on gloves, the police handed me the note.

"We'll need it back afterwards," the officer said. I nodded, taking the folded piece of paper.

_To Dimitri Belikov_, it said on the front. I unfolded it.

_Dear Comrade, I know, surprise surprise, eh? I just couldn't go on with life any more. It's too painful. I know that suicide's the coward's way out, but I'm tired and I just don't want to have to wake up and go through the motions and pretend any more. I don't want to just settle._

_I don't blame you, you know. You found love without me, you went for it, and I wouldn't want anything else for you. All I want is for you to be happy. If you'll be happy without me, then I'm fine with it. Please understand that I'm just too weak to move on from it._

_As I said in the recordings (you did listen to them, right? I know you did- you're just that kind of person), please, have a nice life with Tasha. Have many children; spoil your daughters, who will have you wrapped around their little fingers, and teach your sons to be as kind and stoic as you are. Keep in touch with Christian, Lissa, Eddie, Mason, and all those guys. Keep being successful and rich, and forget about me. Please don't let my death cause you any sadness. Move on. You're strong enough to. I only ask that you comfort my parents. I know that as a child, I disliked them, but I've come to realize that they loved me, just not in a conventional way, but they still loved me, and my death might destroy them. Don't let it. If you do talk about me, talk about the good times and the bad times. Don't feel bad about making fun of me or insulting me. I won't mind. I promise._

_Oh yeah, by the way, I left my laptop to you in my will. You should get it soon. It has almost all my stuff on it. You know me- my laptop is more important than food on some days. There's only one account- mine. The username is ThornyRoza. The password is c0mr4d35g1r7. Do whatever you want on it. It's yours._

_Have a nice life. You deserve it._

_ Love, _

_ Rose Hathaway_

Tears were streaming down my face.

c0mr4d35g1r7. _Comrade's girl._

I felt my mouth open and I heard an anguished wail that I dimly recognized as mine and then all was black.


	47. Uncertainty

_A week later…_

It's been a week. A week since she died. Her obituary came out in the _St. Vladimir Chronicle _yesterday. Mama called me about it. It's online on their website now.

I'm still numb.

After I read the note, apparently I passed out. We stayed in Boston- the funeral's going to be held here on Thursday. Rose always liked Thursdays. She despised Wednesdays, so Thursday seemed like a gift from God to her.

We're staying in a hotel, and I walk down to the lobby to use the computer to read Roza's obituary.

I open up Google Chrome and type in the address of the newspaper's website- . I log into my account, typing my password, the same password I have had for all my accounts since God knows when.

_Milaya Roza_

I quickly find the obituary and click on the link.

**_ST. VLADIMIR CHRONICLE_**_  
18.09.2022_

OBITUARY_  
HATHAWAY, Rosemarie, age 31_

_Rosemarie Hathaway, known as Rose, age 31, was found dead in her rented apartment in Boston, Massachusetts. She committed suicide in the early morning of September 12, 2022. Rose grew up in St. Vladimir and attended St. Vladimir's Academy for Gifted Students and went to Yale University for college. She taught European History at Harvard University and was affectionately dubbed "Prickles" or "The Thorn" by her students. _

_Rose was deeply beloved by her friends and family but close examination of her behavior has shown that she had been battling severe depression for the past few years, though she had been careful hiding it. Her death has shocked many of her friends and family._

_Rose was always very energetic and she was a charismatic and likeable person. She was sarcastic and snarky but not to the point of rudeness and could relate with her students very well. She was always willing to help others. Her hobbies included biking, skiing, and mixed martial arts._

_She is survived by her parents, Janine Hathaway (age 51), and Ibrahim Mazur (age 54); her close friends, Vasilisa Dragomir, Christian Ozera, Tasha Ozera, Dimitri Belikov, Edison Castile, Jillian Mastrano, Mason Ashford, Ivan Zeklos, Adrian Ivashkov, and Mia Rinaldi; and all her students and colleagues at Harvard University._

_Funeral services will be held at the Smith Funeral Home in Chelsea, MA on September 22 at 10:00 AM. _

I stare at the screen uncomprehendingly. Rose's death had sunken into me slowly throughout the past week, yet somehow, I still expected this to be some sort of elaborate hoax, that Rose would jump out of her coffin and yell, "Ha! Got you, Comrade!" and everything would be back to normal.

_But Rose was cremated_, a voice in my mind, the voice of reason, countered. _She's dead. She can't come back._

_Yeah,_ another voice joined in. _You made her kill herself._

_But the note said-_

_She doesn't want you to feel bad! She's ROSE!_

"Dimka?"

I turn to see Tasha coming down into the lobby. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

What a stupid question. Of course I'm not okay.

"Yeah," she says, almost reading my mind, "Of course you're not okay. Rose died- I know how close you were to her. You should talk to Lissa- Christian says that she won't come out of her hotel room and that she's just been crying over the photocopy of the note the police gave her from Rose."

I stare blankly at her. Oh yeah, other people are hurt by Rose's death too. I forgot. I'm not her only friend.

"You know, I've known Rose longer than you have," she pressed on. "She wouldn't want you to do this. Remember what the note said? She doesn't want you to feel bad about her death, and she definitely doesn't want you to drop everything and waste your life away moping around. Try to be strong."

I watch Tasha walk away, probably heading back up to our room, and I wonder how she's so unaffected. She is- no, was friends with Rose, too. As she said, she's known Rose longer than me.

_But it's been a week, _the voice argued_. Other than her parents, you and Lissa are the only ones still moping around about it. Remember? Tasha's right- Rose wouldn't want you to be miserable. She knew that you were strong enough to handle this. You can move on._

But I loved her.

_Yeah, but _how _did you love her? Sure, you've had sex with her, you went out for a few months. Then what? _The snide voice said. _What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think her name, anyways?_

Love.

_But what type? Platonic or romantic?_

I used to lust after her. God I sound like a pervert right now.

_You _used _to lust after her?_

Well, I can't now, can I? She's dead. I'm not a necrophiliac.

_But did you when she was alive?_

Didn't I just say that I did?

_Even after you started going out with Tasha?_

Well, she's an attractive woman. I can't help it. Primal urges, you know?

_Did you still want to date her?_

I-

I don't know.

_**A/N: This chapter was definitely not my best work. So Dimitri's talking to himself and arguing with himself- sounds like schizophrenia. Not my intent, though I did want to show that Rose's death brought out a lot of inner conflict in him.**_

_**I'm sorry about the kind of poorly written obituary- I read quite a few in the town paper before I set out to write one for this fic, but it's not perfect. Same thing about the investigation process for suicides. I did a little research, but not that much, and I took many liberties. So sorry if that offended any of you.**_

_**~42**_


	48. Ten Years Later- Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Ten years later…_

"Can't catch me, Valya! I'm faster than you and you gotta deal with it!"

"I'm two years older than you; of course I can catch you!"

"Prove it, slowpoke!"

"Valya, Roza, we're in a cemetery. Be respectful," I said sternly.

The two kids slow down and turned to face me. "But Roza called me a slowpoke," Valentin whined.

"Not my fault you're so slow! I can beat you in a race and I'm six!" Roza huffed.

"But you can't beat me! _I'm_ faster than _you_!" my son protested. He looked at me. "Right, Papa?"

I sighed. "Roza, you beat Valya last time because _someone _put rocks in his shoes." Seeing the look on her face I continued, "I'm not saying that _you _did it, but remember: cheating is wrong. Don't you want to get strong on your own efforts?"

Roza hesitated. "But he's bigger than me!" she protested.

"And one day you'll be the same size. Even if you aren't, little people can be just as strong and fast as big people."

Valentin was looking on with a smug look on his face. "And Valya," I said, addressing him, "Don't always think that just because you're older, you have to be better. Help your sister instead of always competing with her, okay?"

Valentin nodded. "Okay, Papa."

I smiled. "Now, who wants a piggy back ride?"

"Me! Me! Me!" Roza shouted.

I bent down and she climbed on my back. "You can get one on the way back, Valya."

He shook his head. "I don't need a piggy back ride. I'm a big boy now."

We finally reached the grave and I bent down to let Roza get off my back.

"So, this is where the other Roza was buried, right?" she asked.

I nodded.

Roza squinted at the gravestone. "Then why does it say 'Rosemarie' instead? I thought her name was Roza."

"Her real name was Rosemarie and most people called her Rose. Only I called her Roza," I told my eldest daughter.

"Where're Mama and Nadya?" Valentin suddenly asked.

"Right here."

I turned to see Natasha and Nadejda Belikova come.

"Papa!"

"Hi Nadya." I bent down to give my youngest daughter a kiss and a hug. She and Tasha were behind us because Nadejda's little three year old legs couldn't keep up, especially with Roza and Valentin racing each other the whole time.

I stood up. "Hi, Tasha," I smiled, giving her a quick peck on the lips. I looked at the flowers she was holding. "Roses for Rose? Again?" Of course, we put roses on her grave every year. Tasha's always been in charge of getting the flowers and the first year, I said, "Roses for Rose?" Of course, it just became a habit- or maybe a tradition- for the following years to say, "Roses for Rose? Again?"

Tasha only smiled and handed me the bouquet. I took it and gently laid the flowers on Rose's grave.

"Papa, what's this?" Nadejda asked, pointing at the gravestone.

"It's a grave," I told her.

"What's that?"

I took a deep breath. "It's where you bury someone who's dead," I said.

"Oh." Nadejda. She squinted at the gravestone. "Who's R-r-rose-m-m-mah-"

"-Rosemarie Hathaway," I finished. "She was a very good friend of mine."

"How did she die, Papa?"

I hesitated. I couldn't say that she killed herself, could I? "She got shot," I said finally.

Nadejda seemed to think about it for a while. "Was she nice?"

I smiled. "Very," I told her, ruffling her hair. "Do you remember Aunt Janine and Uncle Abe?"

"Yeah."

"They were her parents. You can talk to them about her, if you want," I said.

"She had parents?"

"Everyone has parents, Nadya. Why are you so stupid?" Roza taunted.

"Roza, be nice to your sister. Might I remind you that when you were three, you still thought that the moon was made of cheese?" Tasha reprimanded.

Roza flushed red. "Did not!"

"Did too!" Valentin said.

I groaned. Tasha, seeing me like this, came to the rescue. "Kids, let's go play in the park across the street while Papa says some things to Rose."

"How can he talk to her if she's dead?" Roza asked.

"He _pretends_, dummy," Valentin told her, rolling his eyes.

"Valya, Roza, _now_."

"Coming, Mama!" My children scurried over to Tasha and I watched as they pushed and shoved over to the park. Well, Roza pushed and shoved, Valentin ignoring her, and Nadejda obliviously chattering.

I looked at the grave. "Hi, Rose," I said softly. "It's been ten years, you know. I really miss you. So do Tasha and Lissa and Christian and your parents and Eddie and Mason and Adrian and Mia and Ivan and all those guys.

"You know, Roza is just like you. I swear if reincarnation does exist, then she's yours. She's just as crazy and energetic as you were when you were little. Violent, too. But protective. She got sent to the principal's office a few months ago for 'sitting on a classmate's chest and ruthlessly tickling him' because he insulted Valentin. Not quite throwing a book at a teacher and calling them a fascist bastard, but close," I laughed.

I sobered up. "But seriously. I miss you. So, so much. Not a day goes by that I don't feel the giant, gaping hole you left in my heart. You were just amazing. I don't I ever have- or will- meet someone like you. I know I said that Roza was, but still, if you take all things into consideration, she's not even close. You were special." I stopped before I'd start crying. Rose wouldn't want me to cry. "YA lyublyu tebya, Roza."

I got up from the ground and took one last look at her gravestone before leaving.

To go find the kids.

To go find Tasha.

To go find my present.

To go find my future.

* * *

ROSEMARIE HATHAWAY

BORN 29 March 29 1981  
DIED 12 September 2022

_A beloved daughter and friend. May you live a happy afterlife._

* * *

I love you, Rose.

**_A/N: Sorry this chapter is so late. But hey, it's still June 25, 2013 (at least where I live), so technically, I didn't break my promise._**

**_The story's finally over (yay!) and now I get to focus more on _****To Make Him Proud****_ and _****The Not-Father****_. Thank you to all my reviewers and favorite-ers and followers. You guys really pushed me on to update and I have to say, I probably wouldn't have written nearly as quickly if not for you._**

**_Oh yeah, and one thing to the flamers- in the words of my sister (when she was six)- POO YOU! (Hey, I said she was six)._**

**_Names of the Belikovs-  
Valentin (Vahl-een-teen) Belikov, age eight. Russian nickname- Valya. Means "love"  
Roza Belikova, age six  
Nadejda (Nah-dyezh-dah) Belikova, age three. Russian nickname- Nadya. Means "hope"_**

**_One last thing: I'm going to make it up to you to decide whether Dimitri loved Rose as a friend or more. I'm not going to say which way I thought it was. You decide._**

**_Thanks again._**

**_~42  
25/6/2013_**


End file.
